Not now
by corytookthemidnighttrain
Summary: A/U How can this happen to her? She's always so bright, and shiny and happy and, well, Rachel. How can someone take that away from her so easily? (CONTAINS RAPE)


_So this is A/U, it takes place somewhere after 2x15. I'm sorry; I'm kind of still stuck in that season. I know a lot of people don't really enjoy these type of fic's, I mean hey its heart breaking. But I've always wanted to write one like this. Its multi chaptered and angsty! (Hopefully I can portray that well) I don't own Glee, of course. If I did I wouldn't really be here, would I? No actually I would cause the ideas that some of these authors have would help the show out. Sorry, my opinion there. Ok. Enjoy!_

* * *

It happened as fast as it ended. It was all a blur to her. She didn't understand why he did this; she couldn't even comprehend how this could have happened.

There she sat in the bathroom stall -feeling the tears stream down her face but not really processing that it was her crying- and feeling her heart break and her trust crumble completely because someone violated her in a way that no one thought would happen to Rachel Berry. Heck she didn't even think someone could ever do this to her. She felt completely out-of-body. It's like she _knew_ she was feeling this miserable but the only thing she could really think about was him, his face, his smell, his touch, she could still _see _and _feel _it all and oh god _is it ever going to stop?_

The bell rung, it was time to go to 4th period, she couldn't make herself care enough to change into clothes that weren't ripped and shred to pieces. Besides every time she tried to move it hurt. She hurt. She felt like she couldn't breathe and like there was air there for her to breath but her body just didn't allow it because it was basically doing the same thing _he_ did, right? Forcing it self upon her when she just wanted it to _stopstopstopstopstop._

No, she thinks she'll stay here until she can't anymore. Which will be when? Around 7pm? Since that's when all of the clubs and activities end and the teachers start making sure the hallways and rooms were cleared? Hopefully she'll be able to snap out of this phase. Hopefully she'll be able to at least move and not feel like crying. But something in the back of her head kept telling her that _no, you'll always feel like crying and you'll never snap out of this because I ruined your life and you can't do anything about it._

* * *

Food, he needed food. Damn was he hungry, all he could really think about was making it to 4th period and asking Rachel for some what-ever-she-had. She always had snacks he liked. He started thinking that maybe she brought the food especially for _him_ but that just made his heart feel weird things and skip beats and make him really happy so he stopped thinking that way because he was with Quinn now and he should only feel that stuff with her, not Rachel. That's ignoring the fact that he never really felt that with Quinn, but hey he could imagine right?

The bell rung and he jumped up, trying not to make it seem like he was in a rush. But to everyone else they saw how fast he was walking, of course they did. This is the way he exits 4th period all of the time. A couple of other students even knew that he did this in 1St and 6th period too. They probably didn't know why, but they suspected it had to do with a girl, maybe Quinn Fabray?

He walked into Spanish 3 honors –he only got into the class because of Rachel- and sat where he usually sits. Impatiently staring at the door, all he could think was _food food food food food_. The students were rushing in, all taking their seats but no one dared to sit in the seat in front of him. That basically had Rachel Berry's name all over it.

The late bell rung and Finn crinkled his eye brows still staring at the door, this never happened. Rachel never got here after the late bell. In fact she was always here _before_ he got into class_, _and he knew she was here today because they have 2nd together. The last bell rung and Mr. Shue turned away from the black bored and started to say his lecture but paused right when he saw the empty seat at the front of class. He looked at Finn questionably but all Finn could do was shrug. Rachel Berry _never_ misses classes. Everyone knows that. With his hunger forgotten, he felt his hand twitch towards his phone but no, he couldn't really text her acting all concerned and caring could he? Quinn would probably see the texts and snap at him. So, yeah, no he'll wait until 7th to confront her.

But only she wasn't there in 7th period either, he thought that he would at least see her during lunch sitting with Mercedes and Tina at the table closest to the lunch line but also farthest from everyone else. But there was nothing. _Now_ he was getting really worried. Normal people would think she just went home sick or had a doctor's appointment but he knew that Rachel only made appointments after school and she never left sick, she was a strong girl. She stuck through until the end of school unless she literally felt like she was dying.

So about 20 minutes into the class he took out his phone and sent a text.

_Hey where r u?_

Usually she responds to his text's ASAP but not this time. Rachel didn't have the energy to. All she could do was hope this feeling went away, squeezing her eyes wanting to be anywhere but the bath room stalls. But maybe this was the safest place for her? He can't just walk into the woman's restrooms, right? But then a thought popped up that terrified her, terrified her so much she got dressed and practically ran to her car. _He _wouldn't stop at anything; he wouldn't let a stupid woman's sign stop him from getting what he wants. Plus there was no one in the halls, and if anyone saw two pairs of shoes in the stalls yeah they would start rumors but since they didn't really _know _who it was he didn't really have a worry.

The thought of him trying again had her choking back tears. He said he'd be back, he said that if she told anyone he would find out. _I'm watching you;_ she continued hearing his voice say. Shaking her head she tried to make it home without any accidents. Any other day that wouldn't be so hard, but today was different. It was heart breakingly different.

* * *

_Ok, well, yeah. I'm most likely gonna have a longer second chapter up very soon; including if this one gets attention. So please tell me what you think and how you feel! It would mean soo much to me._


End file.
